Satellite Picture of India by Night over time

India at night, satellite image

India at night, satellite view. This image is a composite showing the change in illumination over India from 1992-2003. Satellite data from 2003 is coloured red, 1998 is coloured green and 1992 is blue. The three data sets are composited to form the image. Nighttime lights on the map that are white are lights that were present throughout the entire period. Areas that are marked by red have only appeared in 2003. Areas coloured green and blue were only present in 1998 and 1992 respectively but are no longer visible. This image was created by the Defense Meteorological Satellite Program (DMSP), National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration, USA.
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Satellite Picture of India by Night

Lessons in Management

Lesson 1

A priest offered a Nun a lift... She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg..... The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.   The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.  It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' 

Moral of the story  

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. 

Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.  The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk..  'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world..'  Poof! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in  Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.'  Poof! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' 

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say. 

Lesson 3

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'  The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'  So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. 

Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. 

Lesson 4

A turkey was chatting with a bull  'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'  'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.  It's full of nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. 

Moral of the story  

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...  

Lesson 5

A little bird was flying south for the winter.  It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! 

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.  A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. .. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. 

Moral of the story

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend

And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!      

 

There are teachers...and there are educators

LIPSTICK IN SCHOOL

According to a news report, a certain private school in  Washington was recently faced with a unique problem...

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.  She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.   


All the little princesses yawned.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled flush toilet mop,  dipped it in the flush and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

As  you can see, There are teachers ... and then there are educators.

What an Application Form for an Election in India should look like

1.Name of Candidate:_____________________


2.Present Address:(i.)Name of Jail:_____________________
(ii.)Cell Number:_____________________

3.Political Party:_____________________
*List ONLY the last 5 parties in Chronological (Order)
4.Sex:[ ]
A- Male
B- Female
C- Mayawati
D- Uma Bharathi
5. Nationality:[ ]
A- Italian
B- Indian

6.Reasons for leaving last party(circle one or more)
A- Defected
B- Expelled
C- Bought out
D- None of above
E- All of above

7.Reasons for contesting elections(circle one or more)
A- To make money
B- To escape court trial
C- To grossly misuse power
D- To serve the public
E- I have no clue
(If you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a
Recognized Government Psychiatrist)

8.No of years of public service experience do you possess? [  ]A- 1-2 yrs
B- 2-6yrs
C- 6-15yrs
D- 15+yrs

9.List the criminal cases pending against you(Use as many
Additional Sheets as you want)

10.How many years have you spent in Jail?[  ]
(Don’t confuse with question 8)
A- 1-2 years
B- 2-6 years
C- 6-15 years
D- 15+years

11.Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A- No Comment
B- Of course
C- Definitely
D- I deny it all
E- I see a foreign hand.

12.What is your Annual Corruption Income?[ ]
A- 100-500 Crore
B- 500-1000Crore
C- Overflow...
(Convert all your $ earning from hawalaetc to Rupees)

13.Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind?[ ]
A- No
B- No
C- No
D- No

14.Describe your achievements in space provided:[_________]

Magic

The Disappearing Box

Waking up Woman

Eye Snooker

Word Quiz

Can figure out what these seven words all have in common?

1. Banana

2. Dresser

3. Grammar

4. Potato

5. Revive

6. Uneven

7. Assess

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No, it is not that they all have at least 2 lots of double letters although that comes into play.

The answer is below!  

  

  

    

    

Answer:  

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.